For the second time in the past few weeks, Britney Spears checked into rehab and checked out in less than 24 hours. Rumor has it that she shaved her head so that nobody would be able to do drug tests on it. There hasn’t been any news on her kids, so hopefully they’re […]

Heather Mills, the possible former prostitute and definite one-legged former wife of ex-Beatle Paul McCartney is joining this season’s Dancing with the Stars. I feel sorry for her celebrity partner, because she sounds like kind of a bitch, and it would suck to have to teach ballroom dancing to someone with only one leg. […]

New footage has surfaced, which shows Anna Nicole Smith really, really high while pregnant. Her bad-acting, fake-grieving, gold-digging boyfriend/lawyer was the one filming.

Yes, this is terrible and everyone involved seems like a horrible person. However, we should note that Anna Nicole high is not that much different from Britney Spears sober.

We […]

I have to admit I was very disturbed and kind of sad about Anna Nicole Smith’s death. It seems like the girl started life off on the wrong foot and never had a chance to recover. I was always on her side about the old guy’s money, too. Let’s face it: there’s […]

The Grammys are tonight, and it’s anyone’s game! If James Blunt wins anything, I give Kanye West full permission to storm the stage, rant his heart out, and claim the award for himself or anyone else who doesn’t make me want to stab the television. Do it for America, Kanye!

Miller Lite is putting its “Man Laws” series of commercials on hold because, somehow, mysteriously, Burt Reynolds just didn’t boost sales. They believe the problem is intensified competition within the light beer segment.
Hey Miller, I’m gonna take a wild guess here and say that the problem is that you were about 20 years late […]

Cartoon Network launched an innovative marketing campaign for the show Aqua Teen Hunger Force in nine cities, with a blinking electronic character giving the finger to passersby. Cute? Yes! Slightly offensive? Maybe. Retro? Yes! Terrorism? No, dumbass.
The campaign was launched three weeks and received no complaints in eight […]

Last night, one of the many nights that makes me happy I don’t own a television, was the annual Miss America Pageant. Don’t confuse this with the Miss USA/Girls Gone Wild pageant, because Miss America was pretty tame, and there’s no controversy surrounding Miss Oklahoma’s win. Because of low ratings, it’s been exiled […]

Britney Spears hasn’t worn panties in several months and probably accidentally ate one of her babies, but it’s time for the world to move on to crises that can be solved. Everyone’s favorite space telescope had a major setback today. After some major power issues, the 16-year-old Hubble Space Telescope lost 2/3 of […]