Japan’s health minister Hakuo Yanagisawa gave a speech this weekend, in which he referred to Japanese women as “birth machines.” The people were outraged, and Japan’s Prime Minister Shinzo Abe reprimanded the health minister. Upon further examination, we find that the health minister’s original statement about Japan’s population decline was even more disturbing:

“The […]

Last night, one of the many nights that makes me happy I don’t own a television, was the annual Miss America Pageant. Don’t confuse this with the Miss USA/Girls Gone Wild pageant, because Miss America was pretty tame, and there’s no controversy surrounding Miss Oklahoma’s win. Because of low ratings, it’s been exiled […]

Britney Spears hasn’t worn panties in several months and probably accidentally ate one of her babies, but it’s time for the world to move on to crises that can be solved. Everyone’s favorite space telescope had a major setback today. After some major power issues, the 16-year-old Hubble Space Telescope lost 2/3 of […]

Dakota Fanning stabbed me in the heart when she took the role as Fern in the bastardly remake of Charlotte’s Web, one of my all-time favorite childhood movies, but I can’t be mad at the poor girl, because it’s pretty clear that she’s going to pay for it dearly as she takes the dark path […]

Dear Loyal, Casual, and New Readers,
Smackage took a long hiatus, during which I’ve been in 5 countries, 3 U.S. states, and a district. I packed up my belongings and made a cross-country move, quit work, started grad school, made a semester of straight A’s, had a Team Smackage reunion in New York, and once […]