Smackage is taking an extended hiatus.

A 76-year-old man claiming to be a doctor went door to door in Miami offering to give women free breast exams. At least two women accepted the offer, both in their 30s. One of the women reportedly called the police when the old man started conducting an ungloved “genital exam” on her after […]

In the midst of this the whole Duke-stripper-rape allegations, Duke University’s lacrosse team has been suspended for the season, and it’s uncertain whether it will continue next season. This is shocking news, as I thought they were talking about basketball this whole time.
It seemed like pretty big news to me that a […]

About a third of all Wal-Mart stores will stop selling guns, not because buying guns at a grocery store might be bad, but because of lagging demand. The guns will be replaced by non-killing sporting goods. The NRA and hunting groups are very upset by this. They fear that, in some communities, […]

Saturday marked the beginning of Russia’s annual Pig Olympics, where 12 pigs faced off in pig-racing, pig-swimming, and pigball. Hundreds of people attended the games, and some even bet money. Sport pigs are not eaten.
This seems like a win-win situation. People are entertained watching really cute pigs, and the pigs seem to […]

Eight U.S. sailors at a Florida naval station were charged with conspiracy, marriage fraud, and making false claims to collect an extra $35,000 worth of housing allowances after they were caught marrying Polish and Romanian women just for the extra allowances. An investigation found that none of the men were actually living with their […]

The National Federation of State High School Associations in the U.S. mandated that all cheerleading uniforms must cover the midriff for the 2006-2007 season, and Australia is getting on board. Gymnastics Australia has given cheerleading groups until the end of the year to get uniforms that cover the midriff.
Cheerleading officials say that the […]

Walrus moms usually stay with their babies for two years. They often leave their babies on sea ice while they go forage for food at the bottom of the ocean. Because of rising ocean temperatures, the mothers are often forced to abandon their babies while they follow the retreating ice in search of […]

GOP Supervisor Fred Gold thought it was completely appropriate for someone of his status to send an email with a photo of a topless woman in celebration of “Breast Appreciation Day” on January 15. Not content with merely offending women, the body of the email asked, “Beats … Martin Luther King Day, doesn’t it?” […]

Today we begin our journey to Miami for the Annual Team Smackage Reunion. We’ll be soaking up lots of sun and ocean, but we love you so much we left you a whole week’s worth of Smackage in a special, time-release formula. Enjoy!
Love,