Italian Prime Minister is Sleazy
Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has pledged abstinence until the next general election. He made this comment after being blessed by a preacher on TV:
“Thank you dear Father Massimiliano, I’ll try not to let you down and I promise you two and a half months of complete sexual abstinence until April 9.”
I’m pretty sure nobody, including the preacher, wants to know about this 69-year-old man’s sexual activity. While most politicians can suppress their inner freaks during political conferences, Berlusconi doesn’t even try to hide his. In a 2002 news conferences, Berlusconi (on the right) offered his own sick twist on the “Take my wife, please,” joke, when he complimented Danish Prime Minister Anders Fogh Rasmussen (on the left) on his good looks:
“He’s so handsome I’m even thinking of introducing him to my wife.”
Upon hearing about the prospect of a ménage a trois that includes two old politicians, I curled into the fetal position in the corner of my room and started twitching violently. Hey Berlusconi, please remember one thing: If you’re old enough to get the senior citizen discount at Luby’s, nobody wants to hear about your sex life.
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smackmaster “wyamrd” |
January 31st, 2006 at 12:17 pm
Italian Ice - Berlusconi Vows Abstinence Until Election - No Innuendo
Other Campaign Vows Made By Berlusconi
Vows abstinence until erection
Vows to disable the ignitions on all of his fine Italian sportscars
Vows to keep palms grease-free when at the docks
Vows to dress grunge
Vows to scrape all those rubbly old buildings to make way for go-cart tracks
Vows not to masterbate until one day before the election
Vows to usurp more beach
Vows to institute running of the polar bears in the streets of Milan
Vows not to ally Italy with any national socialists
Vows to say whatever it takes to get elected
February 13th, 2006 at 6:05 am
[…] 2004 Berlusconi admits to having plastic surgery. 2006 January Berlusconi vows not to have sex until the April 9 general election. He did not specify whether or not he would send his wife to Denmark to have her womanly needs satisfied. […]
February 23rd, 2007 at 1:07 am
[…] That’s right, Berlusconi could be back in power within a few months, influencing policy, having more plastic surgery, and making lewd jokes about your mom. It’s just what this world needs. In this depressing time of war, global warming, and terrorism, nothing can break the tension like a prime minister with a good “that’s what she said” joke. tags: smackage, italy, berlusconi, prodi, resign, new elections […]